September 3rd, 2009 marked the close of our second year of spreading
laughs among the Bulls and the Bears. Wow...we even made it through
a recession and the death of Michael Jackson. We know that we have
many more good years to come so stay tuned. Thanks again for joining
us.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Comedian, actor, and radio-TV personality Soupy Sales died yesterday of a “series of ailments” in New York at the age of 83. He made us laugh when we were kids and now he's made us sad with his passing. Rest in peace Soupy, try not to throw a pie at God and we'll all do The Mouse one last time for you. Wow...now we'll never find out what pachalafaka means.
Monday, October 19, 2009
The Dow Jokes Report, just as its namesake, The Dow Jones Report did make big news recently. Both being bastions of the stock market, celebrated when each of them passed their 10,000 marks in each of their own ways. The Dow Jones Report had its average topple 10,000. Meanwhile, The Dow Jokes Report was also celebrating their own triumph of surpassing their own 10,000 marks. Let us explain. Just as one of the world's biggest secrets was that David Hasselhoff was a huge singing star in Germany, well so is The Dow Jokes Report. The Dow Jokes Report recently reported that they have received over 10,000 marks in payments. The money came from payment for admission to the Dow Jokes site...ironically, there is no admission fee, everything is free. Maybe the Rosetta Stone software isn't in German yet or it's Das Bad. Either way, too bad, we ain't giving it back. It's all ours.
It appears that "Balloon Boy" and his trip all alone in a hot air balloon was nothing more than a hoax. It appears that the parents were in it for the money and fame and it was worth the price of their son. The parents, both participants on a previous reality show, have been told that after sacrificing their son, some hard decisions must be made. Even though it was a planned promotion, the kid was supposed to die, leaving only 6 children. So much for the new TV reality show "Tom and Ellen Make
Thursday, October 8, 2009
David Letterman is sure getting a lot of press and a huge ratings boost lately...mmmm...maybe Jay Leno needs to start cheating on his wife as soon as possible.
Colonel Muammar Gaddafi gave a rambling 94 minute speech to the U.N. at the end of September. The speech at times was ludicrous, terrorist focused and down right funny at times. We loved it when they showed him fumbling through his notes. He really wasn't fumbling and rambling. He was occasionally trying to sneak a peek at his new copy of the "Dirty Dromedary's: The Double D's. Best Humps in the Desert".
Gadaffi also explained why he insisted on sleeping in a tent. He said in his own country he fears for his life from aerial attacks. In order to protect himself from attacks from an air assault, he has made sure that every single building, house and tent has a bull's-eye on its roof instead of his tent to show and confuse the pilots as to which tent is his.
Thinking like that is probably why as being the leader of Libya, Gaddafi is only a Colonel? He's the boss, he can't promote himself to at least General?
The cause for the swine flu being passed from human to human has finally been solved. Until now, no one knew why pigs didn't inflict the flu on other pigs. We here at TDJR have uncovered a never before seen video with the unbelievable answer. When viewing the clip, watch carefully at the unmistakable evidence that the 3rd one in the lineup is Swine Zero. Swine Zero was unknowingly eating tainted beef with his parasitic ridden, bacteria laden, slop loaded with the previously mentioned beef. When the others saw what happened to him, one ran to the store to stop the first one from shopping, while another just ran home in panic. Unknowingly, the last one was still sitting there waiting for his dish and crying from feeling left out.
Here is the clip, unedited, in its entirety. We do advise screening this tape before letting any youngsters view it. They might find it funny and laugh from head to toe and want to try it. Parental Discretion is Advised: Go to Video
Google and Verizon are both developing their own version of the Android phone. The Verizon Android phone will be known as the Mr. Data © and the Google Android phone will have a bit of a lighter name...the ALF ©.
Chicago blew their chance at getting the Olympics when Oprah Winfrey spoke on behalf of their City. The Olympic Committee was worried about the fairness and honesty that would be presented if Oprah was involved in any form. Where would be the spirit of competition when Oprah told them at this benefit, "no matter where you finish, first or last. No United Stated athlete will come home a loser and empty handed". The Oprah says and guarantees that: ....."you get a medal","you get a medal", "you get a medal", "everyone who competed gets a medal". "I get a Medal, I'm Oprah damnit". "President Obama gets a medal because he is the savior of our country, the world, our race. As a matter of fact, anyone who voted for Obama gets a Medal. Even the ones we had made it possible so you could vote twice, you get 2 Medals".
It appears that while on assignment, a CNBC hottie went a little too
late in her pregnancy. It is now clear why not only her belly but
some other parts also got huge and unknowingly caused this flash flood
when her water broke.
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