TheDowJokesReport.Com - November '07 Archive
TDJR Bull

The contents of one of the many secret file cabinets here at TheDowJokesReport.Com

Sunday, November 25, 2007

When you get a chance, check out our new friends over at Reporter Caps.com.  This site is full of screen captures of all your favorite male and female news anchors.  Some of them are caught making hysterical faces, others are seen with crazy hair between shows and sometimes just because of the outfits they are wearing.  A lot of hard work has been put into this site. Not only by the owner of it, but all the fans too.  You can also go to their message board and post your own screen captures. The message board has lots of members who do just that. The whole thing is a fun little package, including one of the fan's own sites.  So if you are in the neighborhood, stop by and check them out.  Tell them
'TheDowJokesReport.Com' sent ya!

You can check them out at: http://www.reportercaps.com

Don't forget to check out their message board too: http://reportercaps.proboards99.com/

This is the fan's site we mentioned earlier:
http://ultnewsbabes.blogspot.com/

Finally...A special Trish Regan interview where she actually gets out from behind her desk and walks around the studio!
 http://www.CNBC.com/id/15840232?video=577233288

We don't know why they call it Black Friday....We think Green Friday is more appropriate. While on the subject, shouldn't Cyber Monday really be called Plastic Monday?

 We love all these people who are telling us to shop green this Christmas. We're sorry, we don't feel comfortable carrying around a lot of cash.

 We think it was very kind of the Stock exchange to plan a half day on Friday after Thanksgiving. We guess they planned on another bad day, so this was there way of giving thanks to investors.  They figured that with just a half day they could only lose half as much money! The last time we saw anything go up and down as much as the Dow has recently, it involved a Happy Ending.
We guarantee you the Happy Ending wasn't on Wall Street, it was actually closer to Canal Street in Chinatown. We still lost money!

We don't understand this talk of the dollar losing it's value. We know of many places where a dollar will still get you the same thing over and over...a strip club!
Don't believe us, try sticking a Yen in a G-String and see what happens

We really don't know how long this war is going to go on before our leaders realize it is not winnable. America is being made to look foolish. We are not talking about the Iraq war, which is in itself foolish and way too expensive. We're not talking about dollars, who cares about that when our troops lives and health are much more valuable. This year has been the most expensive in those terms yet.

So that being said, we didn't even come close to winning the first war, which is still going on and is laughable. We are talking about the war on drugs! How can we think about invading other countries when we go to war with an army of junkies with needles sticking out of their arms, between their toes and God knows where else. An army with soldiers in business suits, barflies and frat guys all with bloody noses and teeth ground down to the pulp. They get a purple heart before they start from all the coke. Than you got the tweekers and crackheads who basically will be your advance team. All you have to do is tell them there is another hit just over that hill. Finally bringing up the rear of this Army, the US version of Saddam Hussein's Republican Guard. The only difference is our troops can't stop giggling and spouting Holy Grail and Pink Floyd's The Wall movie references. All the time carrying chocolate chip cookies, milk, and the whole Taco Bell left side of the drive thru menu. Let's not forget the cartons and cartons and cartons of Cap'n Crunch cereal with and without crunch-berries. So many, they couldn't carry a weapon other than a spoon if they had to. The stoners figured, he's a Cap'n so he has to have some military experience. It's like Karma man.  The guy already has the cool hat and everything.  No way you get a bitchin hat like that without winning a battle or two with some pirate dudes.

Sunday, November 04, 2007


Apple's new product Leopard has been released and in only a few days has been a huge success for Apple. We guess it finally proves the old adage, that a Leopard can change it's stocks!

Poor David Faber. David must have spilled coffee on himself the other morning. When he showed up on the air, the light blue shirt he was wearing had all the creases and fold that a man's shirt does when it comes directly out of the package. We find it so odd that a man who has his own segment on the show and can discuss commodities with the best of them, doesn't know a darn thing about Iron.

Is it us, but while watching 'Fast Money', do you get the feeling that Jeff Mackey feels like the jilted ex? Karen Finerman comes on and sits right next to Dylan. Dylan plays with her computer and giggles with her. Jeff is hurting, thinking, We can giggle too Dylan, you never even asked.

Karen is talented, smart and good looking. When it comes to looks though, they lost the hotties with Tim Strazzini and even more so Eric Bolling. Eric Bolling added a dimension to the show that hasn't been replaced. No, not just how good he looked in his expensive jeans. He was on the floor every day and in the pits. He was Dylan's go to guy for the real, straight on answer when the others were fumbling.
Oh well, that's all changed now because (cue the harp music and singing birds) Karen is here.
Watch out though Karen, Jeff might be writing things in the men's room stalls.

Poor Jeff, so lonely and still sitting so far away from Dylan.

As the head writer of TDJR, I'm sitting here a couple of minutes before midnight and the proposed start of the writers strike against Hollywood is upon us. That is what they are calling it, it is actually the Writers Guild against the Networks and Cable. The big issue right now is compensation for DVD sales. There are also other areas such as the Internet, residuals and money of course. The last walk-out in 1988 lasted 22 weeks and cost the industry an estimated 500 million dollars. Being a professional writer, which is in my opinion, getting paid for your work. I am not a member of the Guild. I am a member of SAG who supports the WGA but is not walking out with them as of yet. I am not taking a side on this issue on these pages at this time. I will take a side very shortly and when I do it's time to start naming names, starting with...




Woops, sorry, out of time!!!


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