Memorial Day, Monday, May 26, 2008

TDJR.COM Salutes Our Fallen Heroes Who Made the Ultimate Sacrifice For Our Freedom!!!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Sunday May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day to all our loving Mothers, Mothers to be and Jamie Lynn Spears!!!!

Wednesday May 7, 2008

It was nice to hear that Bill Clinton seems so worried for his wife that her run for President might be ending and that they may not be moving back to the White House. Bill Clinton wondered if this meant that she was still the Senator of New York and would still have to spend a lot of her time down in DC and not be home everyday wanting to spend time with him instead!

 

Why during the day does it seem that Dylan Ratigan on CNBC with Melissa Francis and Trish Regan gets so annoyed, cocky and actually talks down to the women when they laugh and have a little fun? Is it his place to remind them what show they are doing? Is it maybe because all the laughs are only allowed at 5pm for Giggles the Clown Ratigan and his traders while he still won't let anyone else wear a suit jacket? What a seemingly stuck up non giggling clown! Oh Mackey, your soooooo funny!!! Besides, nothing on him jiggles when he laughs!

Can you imagine what Jed Clampet would be worth these days with oil at or near $120 barrel? I doubt they would move to Hollywood with all that money, black gold and Texas tea. You know they would have packed Jethro's truck and bought themselves one of them Islands in "The World' and would become known as:

"The Dubai Hillbillies"

 

"Well the first thing you know ol’ Jed’s a billionaire,
Kin folk said Jed move away from there,
Said them Islands is the place you ought to be,
So they loaded up the truck and moved to the United Arab Emirates.
Dubai that is,
Middle East, hookah bars”.

 

"The World" in Dubai.

Y'all come back now...ya hear!!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

It's either feast or famine at the old TDJR.Com. So here’s a heapin helping of some long awaited jokes...enjoy!

Bad news from the Kentucky Derby, 2nd place finisher, filly Eight Belles was put down, euthanized, OK killed, after finding out she had broken both of her front ankles. After finishing second, she was immediately put down almost as soon as she fell. My God, the poor horse didn't even have a chance to whiny for a second opinion. We thought working for Leona Helmsley was tough.

Microsoft has withdrawn its bid for Yahoo after almost all was settled except for one small point that they couldn't agree upon. Yahoo demanded that since it was giving up a lot that they should get to pick the new company name. Which they did and unfortunately, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, said there was no way in hell he would agree on the new name of the combined company's as...Micro-Hoo?

Many on Wall Street are now wondering what Microsoft is going to do to catch runaway leader Google. Well, we’re sure they have a plan B and hopefully C. If not, they can always go with the old tried and true method. Get the phone number for Acme from Wile E. Coyote and maybe they will have better luck catching Google than he did with Road Runner.

Something doesn't sound right when listening to CNBC anchors and, God knows who half of some of these people are, start talking about energy and the discussion goes to nuclear power and nuclear plants. OK, pronounce nuclear wrong if you like but their mistake is much deeper. You should never use the work 'Nuke' unless you are talking about an atomic weapon or what its called when you attack some place with a nuclear device. It even can be used in the past tense, we nuked the area, but never in the sense of an energy plant, and it doesn’t sound right at all. They kept saying we need to build more Nuke plants. America will never stand for having a nuke power plant in their backyard and so and so. God, it makes us want to puke, or would that be puke-lear?

A gentleman on CNBC last week, Jim Miller, the CEO of energy company PPL, said that coal is under a lot of pressure. Yes that's right Jim. Now if we could just find a few dinosaurs to bury with it, in a few million years, we could either get a nice diamond or with the dinosaurs, some oil. Nobody gets to be CEO, you need to know stuff.

Anybody catch the practice in India of dropping babies off a roof onto a sheet held by a bunch of people. They said, we believe, it brings good luck and fortune to their lives. Well, we can never watch a baseball game again and hear an announcer groan about an outfielder dropping a fly ball and calling it a costly error. We honestly feel that making an error on a baby pop fly by saying that the baby got lost in the sun is a lot more costly. The practice had to be stopped when Mel Gibson, who may or may not have been under the influence of anything, kept calling himself Riggs and handcuffing himself to the babies and jumping with them.

We still can not understand why our new ETF never got off the ground and made any money. While watching the success of companies in India and the success in the US of ETF's like MOO that dealt in agriculture, fertilizer, livestock etc., why not do one for India. We followed the standard correctly, invested all of our money, and lost all of it in hours. We don't know why our ETF, symbol COW failed so miserably in India.

Fifteen year old pop sensation, Miley Cyrus, aka TV star Hannah Montana, is all over the news for some steamy photos of her in 'Vanity Fair'. In all fairness, people are saying they are nude but they aren't. She is wrapped and covered in a sheet plus she can't understand the big deal. She said "...as soon as the tour is over, I'm starring in an adaptation of a smash play that my dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, redid for me. We're calling it, the "Hannah Vagina Monologues."

I'm sorry, but we always wonder how that gorgeous blonde from CNBC, Becky Quick, seems to get so much information from Warren Buffet every time she talks to him...wait a second…you don't think? No way. Is she possibly doing the Sharon Stone 'Basic Instinct' leg cross over move...again and again and again?

God it must be good to be an Oracle.

The following is an actual line from an update on CNBC:

"The Visa and MasterCard reports have lots of interest."

As Forrest Gump would say..."and that's all I have to say about that."

Monday May 5, 2008

Happy Cinco de Mayo and an ice cold Corona with lime to all our legal aliens. With everything going up in price lately, we're surprised that it's not being called Veinticinco de Mayo.

Congratulations to Big Brown in winning the Kentucky Derby who has an optimistic chance for the Triple Crown. Our sympathy to the tragic death of filly Eight Belles.

The LA Times Blog reports that the Wall Street Journal may endorse Rupert Murdoch for President. The last time that publication made an endorsement was seven decades ago when they endorsed Herbert Hoover.

There's still a stale mate here at TDJR.Com offices so no jokes and only some real news for today. No communications have past between the parties involved over the weekend. Let's hope this week will become more productive and the jokes start flowing and the Photoshops start dropping!

Friday, May 2, 2008

A labor dispute is brewing between the writers and technical staff at TDJR.Com. The jokes, unfortunately, are suffering and have come to a screeching halt. There is no talk of any members walking a picket line at this time. Rumor has it that labor negotiators are being sent in to calm down the situation as long as management can find the money to pay them between the office couch cushions or from website ad revenue....so please stay tuned, click some ads and read an archive!!

Thursday, May 1, 2008