In case you didn't recognize, don't remember or don't know some of the political figures in our The Horny Bunch photoshop,  here is what they were infamous for:
(Boy, with all these new, almost daily, political sexual scandels, we may have to make this an ongoing series.)

Clarance Thomas	Larry Craig	Newt Gingrich
Antonio Villaraigosa	Bill Clinton	Barney Frank
Eliot Spitzer	James E. McGreevey	Gary Condit

 

Clarence Thomas - Anita Hill sexual harassment scandal at time of

Supreme Court nomination hearings (1991).

Antonio Villaraigosa (D-CA) Los Angeles Mayor - extramarital affair

(2004), affair with Spanish-language television reporter Mirthala

Salinas (2007).

Eliot Spitzer (D-NY) New York Governor - went through a prostitution

service called Emperors Club VIP where he allegedly met with a

prostitute in a Washington, DC hotel. He was linked to the prostitution

ring by a wiretap of his cellphone. According to published reports, investigators believe Spitzer paid up to $80,000 for prostitutes over a period of ten years while he was Attorney General, and later as Governor  (2008).

Larry Craig (R-ID) - pled guilty to disorderly conduct in a Minneapolis

airport men's room in June, after having been arrested on a charge of

lewd conduct (2007).

 

President Bill Clinton (D-AR) - Monica Lewinsky scandal (1998).

Jim McGreevey (D-NJ) New Jersey Governor - closeted homosexual

extramarital affair (2004).

Newt Gingrich (R-GA) - affair with congressional staffer 1993–1999.

Barney Frank (D-MA) reprimanded by the House when Steve Gobie, a male

escort whom Frank met after hiring him through a personal

advertisement, claimed to have conducted an escort service from Frank's

apartment when he was not at home (1989).

Gary Condit (D-CA) - affair with intern Chandra Levy (2001).

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

It is pretty hard to feel sorry for still NY Governor Eliot Spitzer.  When he hooked up with his alleged prostitute (not that there is anything wrong with that) at a Washington Hotel, they signed in as Mr. Spitzer and Ms. Swallower.
 
Two words for the First Lady of my beloved home state New York which might have avoided this whole situation...HAIR DYE! You're his wife, not grandmother!

We get a kick out of CNBC whenever there is a breaking news story that might involve wrong doing. They break out their so called 'on air editor' Charlie Gasparino.  He is more pit bull than on air editor. What the hell does an on air editor do?  He gets on and yells at people who don't agree with him, co-workers or not. He never shuts up when asked and rarely names a source.  The other day, he even went as far to say, for the umpteenth time, during a major crisis of the day, that a deal was in the works for AMBAC.  'Unnamed bankers’ were working through the night, the next day the deal fell through but by the afternoon they were working again, the ‘unnamed bankers’ that is. If he was in the Exorcist, his reports would be done with his head swiveling around.  The best was announcing job cuts that didn't happen possibly at Citibank.  See, if we don't know or recall, we say so and don’t make it fact.  Anyway, until he gets a story straight, somebody go out to the woodshed at CNBC and neuter this pit bull puppy that barks. At least there was no mention of the Governor of NY.  Oh, he was on the air with his special dogfights all day. He almost shut Dylan Ratigan up once.  Why can’t everyone have Bob Pisani's class and knowledge? Of course, Gasparino knew all about....well if you are client #23 you should! (Client #23 uses coupons I heard....from my unnamed sources.)

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Cramer: Heavy Merge
An outlook on the delayed Sirius and XM Satellite Radio merger, with Mad Money host Jim Cramer (actual real news!!!)

http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=673147355

http://www.cnbc.com/id/23408245 

 

If Barack Obama gets elected President, after all the crap he had to hear from Hillary, this is what he should do...offer and make Hillary the Vice President.  This way she is at all the Cabinet meetings and important stuff around the Oval Office. Than, to rub it in for her comments during the primaries, hire Monica Lewinsky as special Secretary of Labor and work directly with Hillary on producing new and better 'jobs', especially in the White House.  She can help her with jobs that make people happy and that in return create more jobs like dining, hotels, cigar sales and of course dry cleaning should definitely increase.

 

Brett Farve announced his retirement from the Green Bay Packers after an All-Star career.  Some are hinting it might be a ploy to try to get more money from the Packers.  The truth is, he heard that there might be a chance for a 'Something About Mary 2'.  Talk about all-Star Hall of Fame performances!!!

 

 John McCain is now the official Republican nominee for President of the United States.  He says he will party with his family tonight and enjoy it like it's the last night of his political career.  Well, in essence, it might be.  After all, he has to go to the White House tomorrow and officially receive President George W. Bush's support and backing.

If John McCain should still get elected President, everybody please be careful when entering the Oval Office.  Like a Republican before him, Ronald Reagan had a jar of all different flavored and colored jelly beans on his desk for anyone who cared for one.  With John McCain, it is going to be similar, but very, very different.  There will be a bowl of multi-colored jelly bean looking items on his desk.  We have heard that they will not be jelly beans but rather an assortment of erectile dysfunction pills, such as 'the little blue pill' Viagra, Cialis and or Levitra to name a few.  When you are President, you always have to be ready for when that unannounced pretty blond lobbyist or any other of the sort may show up and you have not been properly 'brought up' to speed and can retrieve the 'briefs' later.   When you are the President, you don't have much time to prepare to get right down into the situation room and shoot off a missile!!!

Bill Clinton honestly cares for Hillary and really hope she wins on Election Day.  Of course, what he really cares for in his mind isn't Election Day but winning Erection Day. More years of White House fun, this time without the job!   He isn't worried either that some of the erectile dysfunction pills might be dangerous and last for 4 hours.  Hell, he said he hopes he finds one that lasts for 4 years!  Go Bubbah!

After Hilary was announced as having won the Ohio primary Tuesday evening over Barak Obama,  aides reported that all night long she was singing to herself the Neil Young classic about Kent State. Of course with her own choice of words..."Barack's dead in Ohio'.

 

  President Bush officially but unknowingly kicked off 'March Madness' during his press conference when he replied he hadn't heard that gas could go to 4 dollars a gallon.

 

Many people on the opposite side of Senator Obama are saying that all this fuss regarding his name is a joke.  They have no problem with his middle name being Hussein.  What they do have a problem with is the literal English translation and pronunciation of his name.  It seems that it is not being said or spelled the original way it was supposed to be.  It is being done this way to defer any possible connection to terrorist roots.  His name originally translated and pronounced is supposed to be "Berightback I'llbombya".  This report is not confirmed and remains a rumor at the present.

 

Of course, now that Ralph Nader has announced his candidacy for President, on the outside chance he gets elected by, oh another one of those fluke chads, machines counting wrong or whatever the Republicans used in 2000 and 2004, we all know what his first act as President will be.  In an 'Executive Decree', the White House will be painted green and be forever known as the 'Green House' for environmental remembrance. Of course the lawn painted white doesn't seem so eco-friendly.  In addition. the national anthem will also be changed to "I Love Being Green' as sung by Kermit the Frog who is available for the inauguration ball we hear.

 

 Hillary Clinton, even though she was still in a neck and neck, almost dead heat, with Barak Obama at press and bed time for this reporter, she was not planning to go to Texas after her victory speech in Ohio.  It was reported that since Texas is already known for certain things, like that everything is bigger in Texas, it's oil and oil wells and cows and steer, she figured the last thing the state needed was 2 more really big calves!

 

When and if Obama becomes President, his first plan is to alter the name of the Lincoln Bedroom.  This has already caused a stir among historians and has been labeled as a racist and bigoted decision.  He wants to rename the Lincoln bedroom to "The Room Where 2 Nasty Looking White Folk Had Sex In'.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

TheDowJokesReport.Com Six Month Anniversary

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