Monday July 28, 2008
With the Olympics coming up this August in Beijing, China, we can’t help but wonder, even though it's the same place and the same dish, why does Peking Duck just sound so much better than Beijing Duck?
This past June, the market set a record for having the worse month since the Great Depression.
CNBC went to talk with Art Cashew, a long time veteran of the NYSE floor to ask him about it. He became a bit angry and asked… “How long do you think I have been here, that was 1929? All that I know is that I was very young and don't remember much. After Black Tuesday, I was only a senior trader in 1929 and we spent the next 10 years in a blind drunk till they told us it was over. I became senior floor manager somehow and here I still am, almost 70 years later. I've only been on the floor for 80 plus years and you people expect me to know everything. Give a guy a chance to sober up will ya!”
When we heard that we were in a bear market, we couldn't wait to get home and flick on CNBC to see all our favorite reporters in states of undress. We realized it would mean that guys like Mark Haynes and El Nesto Grande would also be bare until we got home and saw that they were all dressed. Part too our relief and disappointment, we saw it was a bear market, not a bare market.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Just imagine and we will leave it at that. Think about the possibilities of grammar with this news blip: ‘Steve Jobs has taken over and is now in charge of RIMM'.
Waste Managements hostile offer to take over Republic Services was rebuffed. Republics plans to proceed and purchase Allied Waste will go on as scheduled. With the turn down of its offer, so goes Waste Managements chances of increasing its 25% share of the waste disposal business in the United States. When management was asked for a statement, WMI issued this short release:
“We here at Waste Management are disappointed that Republic failed to see and embrace the opportunity and generous offer that was made to them. It leads us to believe that the CEO, CFO, the Board and everyone else over there stinks. Same goes for Allied Waste, they stink too. They stink and they are rotten. Allied stinks, Republic stinks, all their people stink, this whole damn business stinks." Republic Waste and Allied Waste Industries issued a joint reply to Waste Management’s comments. "We couldn't agree more".
There is no surprise that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are having problems. This couple of GSE lenders are so typical and in the business they are in, should have known better. With both of them being in (supposedly Government backed) home mortgage guarantors, they should have known that the #1 reason for break-ups in couples is finances! Looks like they are now just another statistic on failed partnerships. Why didn't someone in 1939 jump up and say does anyone object to this union? Wait, what are we talking about? Stand up to this when no one even stood up and made a peep in September 1939 when Germany invaded Poland. Do you have any idea how much harder it made it to get a mortgage. Who is going to lend Rosie the Riveter money for a house and kids on just her salary for the time being? Single moms... that problem doesn’t pop up till almost 70 years later. We have also figured out the problem with Fannie and Freddie's balance sheets. It's easy to make mistakes when you don’t get enough proper sleep each evening. Who can do that when we realized that they were using balance sheets that were only 180 thread count? Hey...just because you’re government endorsed it doesn’t mean you cannot get what you need. A minimum 300 thread count when you handle trillions of dollars is not much to ask and not a set of sheets that feel like an Army blanket.
It has just been announced that Israel's Teva Pharmaceuticals is making all kinds of news. First, it is buying its rival, Barr Pharmaceutical for 7.46 billion, making the world's largest generic pharma even bigger. Secondly, it will change its name to Tevia Pharmaceuticals for some unknown reason and third, it’s moving Barr Pharmaceutical to the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. This name change also brings with it a new advertising campaign. We here at TDJR are once again the lone recipients of unreleased footage from video for the new company. This is the only copy that exists of the new advertising campaign featuring and CEO Shlomo Yanai. Take it away Shlomo...
Friday, July 18, 2008
We don't know about your neighborhood, but here in the suburbs of New York City, BP gas stations are popping up all over the place.
They aren't new buildings; they took some over and redecorated their appearance.
Some of them just have big plastic bag looking covers with new BP name and logo put over the old sign. Now it makes sense why our Fed Chairman and Treasury Secretary have been together so much lately and not seemingly that concerned about the rising cost of gasoline. Hmmmm…What in the world could Bernanke and Paulson have used for the initials to name the station?
Belgian-Brazialian beer giant InBev NV has made it final and is taking over
Anheuser Busch Cos for 52 billion dollars.
When asked why they would be interested in owning something that is so American, they said: “Well, Budweiser is the King of Beers and with our new Government we need a new King. It’s the Muscles from Brussels, Jean-Claude Van Damme's favorite and now finally Belgians will be able to enjoy one of their native dishes, a nice hot bowl of Clydesdale soup”.
We are starting to get a little worried about John McCain maintaining his faculties at his advanced age.
He has sworn that he will get Bin Laden.
As soon as that is done and he sends him back to his one term Senator job, McCain and his wife will start moving their stuff into the White House.
Boy how times have changed.
When our generation was growing up we waited on lines for concert tickets for the likes of Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and the Rolling Stones just to name a few.
Nowadays people wait in lines to buy a machine that lets them pretend that they are really playing guitar like the real guys in the bands.
They go and wait some more to record themselves, hit a touch screen and watch themselves
become a 'rock star'...just by waiting on line.
Oh yeah and The Woz, co-founder of Apple...there are no lines at Apple stores.
Are you guys nuts...it's 'The Woz'.
The Ultimate Wall Street Game Has Arrived!!!
"Dylan, it's daddy, where are you? I won't hurt you!"
We still get a kick out of going into our local McDonald's seeing that some things never change and we don't think that they ever will.
Of course, all based on the brand name, these are some of their McMenu items that they sell or have discontinued:
McFlurry, McLean Deluxe, McDLT, McRib, McGrill, McMuffin, McLatte, McMocha, McPizza,
McNuggets, and of course, the McSkillett Burrito among many, many more. It also made us realize that if Jim Cramer continues on his current path with the: Cramericans, Cramerica, Cramer's Mad Money: Watch TV, Get Rich, Cramerholic, Cramer's Lightning Round, Cramer's Mail Bag, Cramer's Stop Trading, Cramer's Sell Block, Cramer’s Real Money, Cramer Home Gamers and the Cramer Talking Bobblehead, that he is going to be known as the McDonald's of Wall Street.
It's good to see Becky Quick back to her regular early morning gig on CNBC.span
We have to admit, we did enjoy her driving Warren Buffett crazy.
It seems she spent every waking hour with this guy in very sexy outfits.
After all, she was on the road and might have worn items from her own collection....yum!
This poor guy, all that money, living happily married and forced to see this young blond nubile hottie sitting across from him in a director’s chair looking real good.
Each year, Buffett presides over Berkshire Hathaway's annual shareholders' meeting in Nebraska, an event drawing over 20,000 visitors from both United States and abroad, giving it the nickname "Woodstock of Capitalism". She is sitting there in her little black dress and stiletto heels with straps around the ankles. We now know who puts the "wood" in "stock"!
We’re just watching the show and we're losing it a half a continent away and we’re broke.
It has got to kill him knowing he could be getting stuff like that.
We will tell you right now, we have got Trish Regan all lined up for an interview when we’re multi-billionaire Oracles. Oh and what an interview it will be. We will actually ask the question... "Who’s your daddy"?
OK, better stop here and keep it PG. While Becky Quick is back at Squawk Box, it really makes you wonder, if the name of the show was true, what would we find out?
After all these years, the Ramsey's have officially been cleared in the death of their very young beauty queen daughter.
Isn't that great though...Jon Benet, that poor little girl remains dead and Patsy Ramsey still got cancer that took her life two years ago.
Thanks for the news guys, good work out there in Boulder.
We are sure that the country can rest easy tonight.
Oh yes, sorry to rain on your parade boulder PD, but that means there is still a very sick individual out there that does horrible things to very young girls. Too bad for George Bush too, he was actually going to pardon Patsy Ramsey even though she was never convicted. He didn't even know she had passed away!
He was sorry for his mistake but thought that it would look good if at least someone on his list of pardons didn't either work for him, covered for him, or lied before Congress for him.
We cannot get this image out of our heads. If you have seen the movie American Pie, you will know what we mean.
TDJR adores Erin Burnett.
She has that sneaky little smile like she knows more than she's saying, with her pen resting on her chin, just smiling that all girls school smile.
We see that and can’t help but see her say the words, "One time, in band camp…”.
Recently, George Bush had a closed door meeting with the Postmaster General.
Good Ole George needed a favor and fairly quickly.
Since he figures he'll be leaving the White House sometime in January 2009, he’d better get started now.
He told the Postmaster General that he is going to need 303 million change of address forms based on the 2008 US population.
He needs them, just in case, anyone wants to reach him, needs his advice or needs help covering things up.
OOh, he said “take one off the list, screw Cindy Sheehan, I ain’t telling her where I live again out in Crawford.
I did that once and look what a mistake that turned into”.
July 19th marks the first day that the new 3G iPhone goes on sale. By Wednesday, people were already lined up in New York City outside the Apple store.
Unfortunately, not all of them were there to buy an iPhone.
It seems from that spot you can see right into A-Rod and Madonna's hotel window.
It is now confirmed, he not only plays third base but he has already gotten there!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The Dylan Ratigan
New York Stock Exchange Floor
"Walk-a-Bout Maze"
Can you get him from the front door to meet up with Bob Pisani, while the very hot
Melissa Francis and Trish Regan sit all alone elsewhere?
Help us Get Mr. Ratigan sitting next to a hottie other than Pisani.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
In a huge M & A deal announced Monday, Belgian-Brazilian beer giant InBev NV has reached an agreement to buy Anheuser- Busch Cos for 52 billion dollars creating the world's largest brewer. Gee, if they wanted a Bush that bad, we could have gotten them one about 8 years ago for a six pack of Becks and a half eaten bag of Doritos.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Today you will find a slight cosmetic change to TDJR.COM. We enlarged the sitename on our Wall Street Bull masthead for the visually impaired. We also replaced our green LED scrolling website welcome bar with a red one to be more in tune with the state of our economy. We hope to be putting back the green sign real soon but just don't hold your breath. OK, you can hold your breath since the only things left that are free is the air that we breath and a ride on the Staten Island Ferry.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
The iPhone #2 is being released today. The New York Times published an article saying it stinks and others have said the same so maybe calling it iPhone #2 is aptly named.
We get a kick out of how much credence people give to the Wall Street Journal's technology reviewer Walt Mossberg. They show his picture, the guy looks so old that he shouldn't be rating cell phones, he should be rating the new Abacus. His column should be named "All Things Analog".
We just saw a commercial for Viagra and among some of the side effects, other than a four hour erection and a possible heart attack, is poor vision. Well there you go, there is your excuse for getting caught spending the night with a transvestite.
Yankee Alex Rodriguez has been using the nickname A-Rod and everyone thought it was due to his name. Well as it turns out, it has nothing to do with his name at all. Let's say Tommy Lee ain't got nothing on our A-Rod.
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This is the outfit Trish Regan wore to her CNBC interview...and somehow managed to get the job. Is this what they call business casual these days!!!
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This CNBC screen capture was recently taken by Reportercaps.com.
Since when did the network become a Made in China sympathizer?
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Thursday, July 10, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
Have a Happy and Safe 4th of July Weekend from TheDowJokesReport.Com!!!
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