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(Editor's note: We apologize for very little new and fresh content in the past several weeks from TDJR. With the economy the way it is and the election of Barack Obama, it is very difficult to make any jokes about them. Thank God we have Joe Biden, the yet to be chosen new White House dog, the White House turkey that was pardoned and the man that President Bush pardoned and than unpardoned a day later to make fun of. Just remember, unlike your IRA or job, we will always be here...just stay tuned and thank you for your loyal readership.)
In what must surely be a case of a printing error, there were a group of people walking around NY City today wearing shirts saying, "I'll be going to the Barak Obama Incarceration, Will you?" and the other was actually funny, to those people of course who find that humor not objectionable. A couple had matching shirts with the saying..."It's not too late, Barak Obama means...Be Right Back I'll bomb ya". So tasteless.
Long time mega rich Texas oilman Boone Pickens said a few months ago that the high cost of oil and our dependency on foreign nations for it was no longer an option. He was setting up a fund for wind energy to reduce and eventually replace oil as our primary source of energy. Well, now that oil has slipped down to about $40 a barrel from $140 when he started, he hasn't been seen or heard of. Is it possible that Boone's plan of wind replacing oil was nothing more than a lot of hot air. Oh and a few billion bucks of his!
Barak Obama has been told a lot of what to expect and what to do when he goes to live in the White House for the first time. The security is the best, the kitchen is always open, but considering the former tenant, ask for clean sheets...Bush has had a lot of strange bedfellows.
Friday, January 16, 2009Steve Jobs is taking time off from being
at Apple everyday. All of this appears to be due to improving his
health. So Jobs will be out of a job...great, two more unemployed
to add on the out of work list for only one guy. We have not
received any real confirmation on this from our Dow Jokes editor,
Pun Ditty, so until than we will treat it as any other Jobless
claim. With no Steve Jobs there, it changes that old little song
we sang as kids to a more adult version. " Buy Apple today, watch
your cash".
Game show host Howie Mandle may be overdoing it with a second job.
He was sent to the hospital with an irregular heartbeat, he's OK,
but was told to take it easy. Howie says he will as soon as he
finishes his new gig playing Judge to Bernie Madoff in "Bail or No
Bail".
With the troubles at brokerage firm Lehman Brothers, we are grateful that Loehmans is not also closing. We can't help but having those horrid memories of David Letterman's Oprah...Uma...Loehman's...Lehmans.
Friday, Jannary 9, 2009This mess from Illinois with Roland Burris being allegedly illegally appointed as the new Senator or not is so unnecessary. When in the Chicago area, you have a man of integrity and respect. A man whose youthful appearance shows a refined taste for fine dining and class, despite his line of work. If you wanted the perfect man for the next Senator of Illinois, look no further than the 'Sausage King' himself, Abe Froman! We hear he lost his dinner reservations anyway.
Monday, January 6 2009
There has been a change to one of the classic movie lines in history. This comes from the darling Zuzu Bailey, when she tells her dad: "Teacher says, every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings." The new version is: "Their pink slip says, every time the closing bell rings, more employees hear the fat lady sing."
Burger King has come out with an new item. It's true, they have added a cologne that smells like a char-broiling burger. The name of it is called Flame. We can't imagine a real thin, shapely girl being attracted to a man who smells like a Whopper. We guess they are going after the chubby chaser market. Why do they call guys who like fat women "Chubby Chasers" anyway? It doesn't seem to us like they'd be that fast of a runner. Even spot her a few yards, 10 seconds tops.
And now for the haven't we heard this news report before.... Israel is involved in fighting a war.
We are looking forward to this years Survivor. They put Bernie Madoff on a remote island with all the people he ripped off 50 billion dollars from. Well, the other Survivors won't go hungry, with all that Kosher bait they have, they should eating plenty of Salmon.
Dick Cheney Redux. On Long Island in NY, one hunter accidentally shot his fellow hunter while duck hunting. This time it was a misunderstanding. It seems the man who got shot got confused. When the shooter saw the birds, he yelled duck. The other guy didn't get the message right. It's a good thing that Dick Cheney was allegedly hunting nearby and there was a full mobile hospital. He only had to wait a couple of hours to be seen while they sewed up Cheney's other hunting partners first.
Editor's Note: (I doubt it!!)
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