

I am so intrigued
by this fairly new American Express Blue commercial. It is the one where the guy
opens up his mail early in the morning, calls American Express and talks to
the cute girl in her cubicle. He talks on his cell phone while brushing his
teeth, making French toast, going to work, in the middle of a business meeting,
having lunch, the gym after work and finally getting home at night and still
talking. I say the heck with the credit card, I want to know what cell phone
he's using that has a battery that can last a whole day!
The CEO of eBay, Meg Whitman, has
announced that she will be leaving the company. She said she knew it was time
when she, the boss of the company herself, got outbid and lost an auction for an
official replica of a 'Pluto Nash' poster. Why are the people in the Cartridge
World commercial so overly happy when they get to print something?
Did the fashion department at
CNBC all go blind like the rooster in that cold remedy commercial today?
My God, the pretty and always finely dressed Rebecca Jarvis is wearing a
jacket too small for her that her shirt sticks out the bottom. Worse yet,
what in the world is the always beautiful looking Erin Burnett wearing? It looks
like something she picked up at the local Desert Mart Camel Blanket and
Designer Dress Shop while in Dubai. Starbucks has announced a new promotion featuring a cup of their high end coffee
for only one dollar. That's great but they didn't mention that mild is going to
go for 5 bucks for regular and 10 bucks if you drink it light.
It was so cool to see Jim Cramer on Celebrity Apprentice. We were disappointed he
didn't say much and also surprised that on his show he wears nicely tailored
suits. Where in the hell did he get those droopy looking your a big boy now pants
from?
Watching the madness on CNBC on Tuesday was something that has never seen before.
We got a kick out of CNBC though. This was their Super Bowl coverage! Did you
notice how every anchor or reporter was there?
We really enjoy when they interview Jim Cashen, the older gentleman who has been
there for 40-50 years. He is always seemingly so cranky, he reminds us of the old
guys sitting in the balcony on the Muppets. (We apologize if we got his name wrong, but they talk to him too early, the first
bloody Mary hasn't kicked in yet here at TDJR World HQ.)
We are starting to realize all these know the right stock to pick pundits, never
admit the next day they blew it. It's like they all become Fonzie on 'Happy Days',
when he try's to say, "I was wr...wr...wro. (He can't say wrong people who didn't
watch it.) (Please remember, that is in no way an investment tool or to be considered any
sort of professional advice. If you choose to invest your money in this thing or
any of its stocks and lose, it is your own damn fault. You deserve to lose
money. Jim Cramer and his CNBC Television "Mad Money" ETF LGHT NG R ND CH EEP SC OTT CH
GOLD MAN SKS
TRA D NG GDS
MON BAK CRA MER ICA
Actual Stock Symbols
ENG - Englobal EL - Estee Lauder WU -
Western Union BOO - Sport Supply Group Y - Allegheny Corp.
A - Agilent Tech. ADY - American Dairy CRA - Celera
Group MER - Merryl Lynch LGHT - Light House Bank NG - NovaGold
Resources CH - Chile
Fund GOLD - Randgold Ind. SKS - Saks Inc. TRA -
Terra Industries BAK - Braskem SC R - Ryder
Systems The NASDAQ has only been up one day since New
Year’s, that’s almost as long a record of bad results as is Bush's approval
rating. Ok…not that close. We'd have to add Enron,
the Yankees losing four straight playoff games to the Boston Red Sox in 2004
and of course...Godfather 3.
The Golden Globes cancelled their ceremony this year because
none of the 'A' list celebrities would cross the picket line of the striking
Writers Guild. If the Golden Globes wants’ to say that’s the reason,
fine. All we know is that they give out hundreds of those Golden Globe
trophies...and have you seen how expensive gold is lately?
After over 7 years in office, George Bush still doesn't have a
clue. He said that his trip to Israel was fruitful and he was proud to be able to
help put our economy back on its feet. President Bush also claimed that it
will help out many of our faltering financial institutions and looked
forward to the day when the West Bank expanded and opened a branch in the
USA.
On the night that Britney Spears was rushed to the hospital
after having some sort of nervous melt down or something, We knew something
wasn’t right. As soon as we heard that Dr. Phil was
there to treat her at the family’s behest, we were pretty sure the family didn’t
want Dr. Phil lying about their meeting and blabbing his stupid hillbilly dumb
ass immediately to the press. Well what do you
expect, from an unlicensed therapist and host of “The Dr. Phil of Crap
Show?”
It’s starting to get serious time for Britney
Spears. She is making her ex, K-Fed seem like the
normal, responsible one.
Seriously, this girl has had almost as many meltdowns as a 24
hour ‘China Syndrome’ Marathon. (Did you really
need to shoot Jack Lemon in every movie?)
Rick Salomon, the future Mr. Ex Pamela Anderson Lee Rock, camera
operator and participant in the famous Paris Hilton video, managed to impregnate
Ms. Anderson and not get it on camera. He said not
to worry. He taped little cameras on the heads of
millions of his little swimming baby makers.
They split up right after that and she went back to one of her
ex’s. That wasn’t bad until he found out that they were left somewhere at Kid
Rock's house! Maybe he'll have to split the DVD rights with him?
Quarterback Eli Manning and the NY Giants defeated the
favored Dallas Cowboys and will play next week in freezing cold Green
Bay. Don’t feel too bad for all the Dallas players
though. Easy bet that next week's quarterback Tony Romo will be playing in
Jessica Simpson’s soft and warm…insert
your own Jessica Simpson item or body part here. Look at the new ‘Fast Money’ promo shot, the one with the
5 of them just sitting in their respective seats looking straight ahead at the
camera. After seeing that, we couldn’t help but
wonder. Did they avoid taking a new
photo? Did they Photoshop out Eric Bollings head
and replace it with one of the ‘Half Baked’ brothers, Pete Najarian?
TDJR is sorry, we did not intend to be just like that
house on your block that keeps its Christmas lights up until mid
summer. We will take down our Christmas and Holiday
decorations and ads as soon as we get our head writer in from off the ledge.
(He reads 1 book and he knows stocks.)
Each day, the brilliantly talented and infamous Jim
Cramer, starts his show by saying he has over 2,000 stocks in his head. Well, in
the case of many electroshock therapy patients, they start their day by
mumbling, drooling and remembering that they had 2,000 shocks to their
head. Gee...maybe it’s just General Electric that's making any money on
them! ETF’s or Exchange Traded Funds popularity and availability
has grown tremendously in the past year or so.
There are now so many, some ETF’s are actually running out of ideas. All they need is about 10 - 20 companies that are somehow
similar in some fashion. Recently, Squawk on the
Street was mentioning some that were based on foods found in your
refrigerator. For example, that would give you a
list of companies that made the items in your fridge, like Heinz, Anheuser-Busch,
left over Taco Bell, so you would have YUM. You get
the idea. Well, we at TDJR have come to the ETF rescue. We will now be offering up our help
and expertise. We have knowledgeable
experts who never miss a single episode of ‘The Insider, ‘Entertainment
Tonight’ or ‘Extra Extra’ shows. If Trump can have Celebrity Apprentice…we
now have Celebrity ETF’s…Real Companies for Real Stars.
Our first offering will be an ETF modeled after the recent happenings and career
of the lovely, talented and nutzo…Britney Spears.
All of these are real companies and their symbols.
Please feel free to check. Anyway, please enjoy our first filing of the Britney Spears
ETF. Please check the index of symbols and companies below the ETF
if you like and pardon the vulgarity, they are ONLY symbols:
January, 24, 2008
Yesterday, the Dow Jones had a unbelievable 600 point swing. It started out 300
down and rallied to an almost 300 high. Which may be impressive to some but not
when you compare it to Star Jones cholesterol level before her stomach stapling
surgery.
We have finally discovered the reason for all the price drops in the market, the
lost billions and panic. It's all Staples fault! Not the store Staples but the head
writer at TDJR, Billy Staples. He watches CNBC all day and it turns out that was
not good for the market. He finally had enough today with the continued decline in
his stocks and shut the TV off in disgust just before 3PM. What happens, the
biggest rally in years!! It has all been Staples' fault. We have now unplugged all
the TV's during the trading hours and he is stuck at trying to find the web page
with the Turkish stock market. (Fast Money said Turkey had one.)
We think the market is like an alcoholic. It has to reach its bottom before it can
begin to recover.
Holy Mackerel, somebody won a free makeover. It's Karen L. Finerman, CNBC talent
and hedge fund guru. Damn, we thought she looked good now, kind of
nostalgic to what we all looked like circa de 80's. Love the Annie Hall look but
wasn't that in the 70's???
Separated at Birth???

Karen L. Finerman Elayne
Boosler Larry Fine
Karen L. Finerman is a regular on CNBCs 'Fast Money' and owner of Metropolitan
Capital Advisors hedge fund. Fast Money is the fastest growing financial
show on TV. Karen is a huge part of the shows success and we hope that she
has a good sense of humor to go along with her smarts. She has been President
of Metropolitan Capital Advisors, Inc. since 1992 when she co-founded the firm.
Prior to June 1992, she was the Lead Research Analyst for the Risk Arbitrage
department at Donaldson, Lufkin & Jenrette Securities Corporation. Prior to
joining DLJ in 1990, Karen was a trader at First City Capital, a risk arbitrage fund
for the Belzberg Family.
January 23, 2008
January 22, 2008
Selected stocks that compromise a selective ETF following as close as possible to
that of Jim Cramer and his CNBC Television "Mad Money".
EL WU D NJ BOO Y A SC EE
D ADY CRA MER MAD MON EE
D - Dominican Resources NJ - Nidec Corp
SC - Royal Dutch Shell EE - El Paso Electric
MAD - Madeco SA MON - Monsanto
OTT - Otelco EEP - Embridge Energy Partners
GDS - CBOE Index MAN - Manpower Inc.
ND - CME:Index Options & Options Market ICA - Empresas
ICA Soc Con
January 14, 2008
The Britney Spears, Overexposed, Hottie, Out of Control,
Mommy ETF
BJ YUM
BUD
CANT
DRIV HOT MI LF
HOTT BA BE INS ANE
KFED
NICE BIG
RACK
SYXI WAKOF ALOT
Actual Stock
Symbols
AA – Alcoa Aluminum ALE – Allete Inc. ALOT – Astro Med Inc.
ANE – American Community Newspapers BA – Boeing Air
BABY – Natus Medical BE – Bearing Point BEAS - BEA Systems
BEAV – BE Aerospace BI – Bell Industries BIG – Big Lots
BJ - B J’s BUD – Anheuser Busch BVERS - Beaver Coal Company
CANT – Carpenter Oil DRIV – Digital River HOT – Starwood Hotels
HOTT - Hot Topic INSU – Insituform Technology
INS – Intelligent Systems Corp KFED – KFED Bancorp
LF – Leapfrog Entertainment MI – Marshall & Ilsley
NFS – Medial Infocus NICE – Nice Systems POL – Polyone
R – Ryder Systems RACK – Rackable Systems S – Sprint Nextel
SYXI – IXYS Corp. T – A T & T WAKOF – Wako Securities
X - U S Steel YUM – YUM Brands
January 4, 2008
Poor Hillary Clinton, finishing 3rd again in the Iowa Republican caucuses...at
least this time she wasn't trailing behind Monica Lewinsky.
January 3, 2008
On Wall Street, the most important number today wasn't the Dow, the NASDAQ,
S&P or the housing loss...the number was 365. It reflected the last
year of Bush's presidency...it's known as the BUM Index...the Bush
Unconstitutional Monarchy.
While watching Dateline: NBC the other evening, they ran one of their most
popular segments on the show. The one where adult men, pretending to
be minor aged girls on the Internet setting up 'dates' with older men,
supposedly to engage in illegal sexual activities. The segment is titled 'To Catch a Predator'. All we know, if this segment is that popular,
wait for the next one, an actual full length movie called "To Catch a Predator
vs. Alien!"
(Editor's note: We are not sure if they used Tetley,
Lipton or that generic supermarket brand of tea bags.
We will keep you informed of any updates.)

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