Tuesday, February 24, 2008
BANK SHARES rose on Wall Street yesterday after the Obama administration signaled its willingness to take as much as a 40 per cent ownership stake in Citigroup – but stop short of nationalizing the bank. TDJR has heard rumors of a possible name change for Citibank to The Federal Reserve.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Barack Obama spent almost all of the holiday weekend trying to sell the staunch conservatives of the Republican party that his Stimulus Bill is indeed worth the price. It seems no matter what, you can not get through one President's Day weekend without some kind of a white sale.
Well, so much for the bull run! With the Dow returning to the record lows of November, still no one has a clue as to what is going on or what is happening next. The good news is that all the investors and pundits are now extremely qualified to be a star on a hit television show...'LOST'. Unfortunately they are more likely to be chosen for a different television show...'The Biggest Loser'.
Alex Rodriguez seems to have said all the right things, sounds contrite and apologized to his teammates. Unfortunately, there still remained some skeptics left over when he took batting practice with a borrowed Barry Bonds bat.
"Clears runny, clogged noses, itchy eyes and even unpleasant warts, but will not clear your ears". Just in case you left your Satellite radio home,
We cannot wait till Valentines day is over. If we see one more commercial for Pajama Gram with that sizzling red head (Overstock chick who?) we are going to get our heads stuck in the TV going after her.
That and the dancing blond on the staircase... just Stop already. We get it. Stupid looking goofy guys that give us a yummy yummy gonna git me some of that raised eyebrow look. Remember, she has to be back in an hour.
Not as bad is the chick at the end in red who runs to the door for the 'Do Not Disturb' sign. Her' guy' is in the back and wearing a plain white under shirt and patting the bed like he wants the dog to hop up on it.
Sorry to fill you in there Mr. President. A lot of talk of bi-partisan support and than no Republicans supported your bill. OK, three in the Senate, but none in the House. We guess change is not going to be that easy to get. About as easy as going into your local convenience store, asking for change for the bus and you get yelled at. "No change. you have to buy something to get change! Put down that paper, does this look like a library. Here, buy a Tic-Tac or a Slim Jim.
After the Barron's article there have been rumors of change on the set of 'Mad Money'. When Cramer's picks are right, you get a great big, Boo-Yah.
If they are "udderly" wrong you get a Moo-Yah.
Listening to Geitner talk yesterday and than see the Dow falling to 382 reminded us of something...It was like any submarine movie we've ever seen. When the captain yells Dive, Dive, Dive, prepare for crash dive.
Monday, February 9, 2008
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Thank you and may God bless Sully!!!
A wing and a prayer...Standing room only...Flying Standby...
Now that's walking on water!
Wednesday, February 4, 2008
Here is a word to the wise to all us Cramer fans who buy the small amount of merchandise he offers on his hard to find web pages. Good luck finding one of web sites that he has written for, started or owns, or allegedly one with his picture on it When you purchase an item, make sure you know exactly what it is to be used for. Be careful, we bought a Cramer Bobble head doll and loved it. Here is where you have to be careful. Why? Simple, we got a little confused. We somehow started using our Cramer Bobble head as our Cramer Magic 8-Ball.
(Editor's Note: Try using TDJR Orange Ball of Futures...it works just as well.)
Maybe it’s this medicinal pot, could be who knows. It is very hard to understanding what the bobble head was saying with its head always moving around and stuff. Yes, we know we were lucky to get the only one that actually speaks to us. Someone’s screwing with our head man. It’s killing us financially. Every time we asked should we buy a stock, it tells us to buy it. We wound up buying all stocks that we had a question about. Even Lehman’s Brothers, GM and even Sirius / XM Radio when it was over 2 bucks. On all of these and many more dogs, he gave us the OK to go in heavy all at once…and wait. Every time we went back as the stock kept dropping, it would still say don’t sell.
We recall asking it, ‘We want to know, is Jay Leno right and has Howard Stern become a non-issue since he went to Satellite? If so, should we sell all our Sirius / XM stocks now, while they still have maybe a handful of pennies value left in them”? We had to prod the Bobble Head a bit, but when he remembered who Stern was, it replied, ”Better not tell you now”. That was it, we had it, picked up the Bobble head talking 8-Ball losing doll and threw it out the window to a scream and a crash.
We no longer listen to mistaken products. We got ourselves a Travelocity Gnome and he told us and swore they're going to play some foreign markets or wherever he winds up and share his luck with us.
We hope all you new readers, viewers and TV investment guru’s caught our ‘Staples Secret Successful Super Surprise Source Stock Selection or as its commonly known SSSSSSSSS. Leave the last S off for Sucks, as some users have come to refer to it. Looooosah’sSee the SSSSSSSSS is based entirely on the well known equation of common events of the day + Stock of similar circumstances + Success (*See disclosure below). This weeks pick was so obvious you guys did’t have to crash our server all coming in at the same time to get the pick. Let us explain the simplicity of our patented, trademarked and copyrighted system. This weeks pic is SLX. Why? It is so simple. By now we all now that Pittsburgh won the Super Bowl. What is Slx? SLX is a collection of Steel Companies. What is Pittsburgh’s name. The Steelers. A bunch of guys who collectively are known as steelers. There is no I In Steelers, so it is always plural. Again, no holes in this defense to exploit.
*NO guarantee blah blah blah, not an actual investment advice or choice just a stupid joke on a humor website that if you believe it you deserve to really lose every penny you have. Our wishes for a fast recovery as President Obama will decide and let us know next week if he has a bad back. The Mets are holding Citibank to its agreement to be their partner in their new stadium, name ‘Citi-Field’. Citibank is still very excited about the plan and feels it will give them great advertising. Not only with the name of stadium but also for its slogan…"Citi-Field! Letting the Mets cover their field everyday with a 45 billion dollar TARP".
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