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(Editor's note: We apologize for very little new and fresh content in the past several weeks from TDJR. With the economy the way it is and the election of Barack Obama, it is very difficult to make any jokes about them. Thank God we have Joe Biden, the yet to be chosen new White House dog and the White House turkey that was just pardoned to make fun of. Just remember, unlike your IRA or job, we will always be here...just stay tuned and thank you for your loyal readership.)
Sunday, December 28, 2008
With the continuing problems at Citibank, despite all the TARP money and government aide, some things just don't make sense. How could they have used the slogan 'The Citi Never Sleeps'? when it is apparent someone was taking a nap. No way you lose all that money on those bad loans and decisions without someone being asleep at the wheel.
Recently, a Utah teen went and lived 118 days without a heart. What a stroke of unfortunate luck. All the kid is doing is his job chopping some wood and next thing you know it starts to rain. Lucky for him, oil wasn't still going for $139 a barrel, he'd still be there.
This year a lot of people are under a large misconception about the true meaning of the dropping of the ball in Times Square in New York on New Year's Eve. When the ball gets to the bottom and '2009' lights up, it has nothing to do with the date of the New Year, but rather how low the Dow Jones Industrial Average has gone this year.
We can't wait for the new edition of 'Survivor' this year. It is puttting Sumner Redstone, the boss of failing rival network NBC and Mel Karmazin, Chief Executive Officer of SIRIUS XM Radio together to see who can last the longest keeping their companies interesting to investors.
As always, there is a big twist in this season's 'LOST' TV series. This looks like it's going to be the best yet. Instead of going back to the Island to save all their friends, the real secret is that Bernie Madoff is going to teach us to embezzle 50 billion from our friends and acquaintances and say that every penny of it is 'LOST'.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Yes Virginia, there is a Scam-a Claus! Unfortunately, along with other big name investors, Santa Claus himself lost a large sum of money in the scandal. Not only will he have to lay off elves and barbecue a couple of reindeer after the holidays but he too will be forced to believe that Obama is the second coming, he will fix everything and make it just right.
Obama is now thought of as the fix everything dad who has no problem putting all the kids toys together perfectly and on time every year for Christmas morning...or what ever holiday it is.
CNBC has breaking news that Trish Regan will be joining Santa this year on his Christmas Eve ride. Not to really report who doesn't get toys due to the economy but just to see her in the real cold in just her tight little Mrs. Claus outfit. Now that's something to come down your chimney!
One reporter is said to be spending the Holidays giving out amazing gifts, like on her visit to Omaha...giving Oral to the Oracle.
As the Bush's pack their things to prepare to leave the White House, W is noticeably leaving the Presidential copy of the Constitution, saying "Who reads or follows the dang thing anyway?"
Friday, December 12, 2008
The big 3 carmakers, Ford, Chrysler and GM went to Sweden to ask for
financing or some kind of deal to help their companies. Each in turn got
to meet with the Swedish carmakers to tell their Saab stories. Apparently,
only one Swedish company seemed to be interested in a deal. The following
morning, the headline on Sweden’s biggest paper read: “Have You
Bailed out a Fjord...Lately”. The only other apparent tie in was with Chrysler and the Swiss Miss hot chocolate beverage maker. Unsure of the exact heritage of its uber sexy cartoon model, it didn't matter when teamed up with this ex-presidents thumbs up! It seemed to definitely get the idea across of what both have to offer.
Yes Virginia, there is a Scam-a Claus! Unfortunately, along with other big name investors, Santa Claus himself lost a large sum of money in the scandal. Not only will he have to lay off elves and barbecue a couple of reindeer after the holidays but he too will be forced to believe that Obama is the second coming, he will fix everything and make it just right.
We just found out that despite his assertions that all was OK, even
though this recession has been documented as officially starting in
12/2007, Ben Bernanke apparently right or dead wrong has a secure job
until 2010. That is almost as bad as re-electing Bush in 2004!
passage, if Bernanke quits, does he think he's got major offers waiting for him?
Trust us; this guy is not the Brett Favre of economics.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
In times like these in the stock market, you find strength wisdom and hope in the strangest places. We think that the most appropriate place has been watching "The Wizard of Oz". Where else can you get the hope that we all can get some courage, brains and heart for all those who have been adversely affected. The best part of it has to be for the housing industry, if houses keep falling out of the sky and crashing, it has got to increase their business and upside. We know for sure that we are now in a recession. Who cares what some government guy said last week. When you can go buy the elite of smart phones, the iPhone, at the same place you buy toilet paper, kitty litter and hemorrhoid cream...we have to be in a recession. At least Apple denied that the iPhone wasn't going to be sold for $99. They wouldn't want to tarnish or lessen the brand name now, would they? For the record, after speaking to people at Apple, there is no truth to the rumor that the iPhone's value has decreased so much that it would now be called the gPhone. Oh great, we can't find someone to explain Etch-A-Sketch in understandable English, how the hell are they going to explain an iPhone. (It isn't offensive if it is the truth.)
With Christmas almost here, who cares! Has anyone seen the Honda commercial with Santa Claus building a Honda? He looks at his list and it has one car on it. So..Christmas...whoopee! We didn't ask for the Honda, who knew!
(Editor's Note: Doing the spell check on this page of amusement, when it came to the name Palin, it gave me the choice, Ignore? Like you have to ask?)
Monday, December 8, 2008
"Only the good die young"... John Lennon ... Rest in Peace.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Well, as we all count our blessing this holiday season and TDJR has many to add coming soon. The biggest thing so far that we think we are thankful for is that we have never been asked to go hunting with Plaxico Burress and/or Dick Cheney and especially not being driven there by Jayson Williams and his NEW chauffeur.
We can't wait to see Plaxico Burress as this months centerfold in Guns and Ammo Magazine. We find it so ironic that this football player who yes, is a bit of a loon, is getting all this negative press and suspension for shooting himself in the leg with a handgun. All this going on when we have a guy responsible for over 4,000 US alone fatal shootings and unknown how many wounded. Oh yeah, that's just our side and not the enemy or innocent civilians. He still sits behind his desk in the White House with just about as much reason for his actions as Plaxico Burress. Except of course, our President has a little plastic toy machine gun which he makes his own noise with as he shoots little foreign army men hidden in his office during play time.
Recently, a teen went 118 days living without a heart. It might have even been longer, if it didn't start raining. This way, thank goodness, a little girl and her dog, with their friend the scarecrow came along just in time. They lubed him up to travel to a doc / wizard or something. All was well until he was told that he got a fake heart and these instructions. He realized that he was told by the cardiologist that a heart will only be practical until they can be make unbreakable. So as the teen walked away he said, "Thanks Doc, I was doing fine for 118 days, till you 'Fixed' me. I'm gonna sue your impersonating wizard ass for millions!"
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